Lonely

So, this is what a love is...

Feeling like wanting and waiting for someone
Thinking only about someone
And being left in an empty seat because of someone...

I've been dizzy for these feeling lately, feels like I was being abandon and left behind. It seems that I just told to be seated in an empty room and in an empty seat, without anybody around me. The room is white. There are only two lamps in the room, and they're very bright.

I cannot breath faster, I just slowly feel that I am breathing.
I try to call for someone, but no one is there
I try to move my feet a little, but I can hardly feel my own feet
What is it? What's wrong with me?

Pic from here

I tried to sleep during the waiting. I can close my eyes, but I cannot fall a sleep. I tried to rest my heavy head, I lay down for a bit,  but my brain push me to think harder about someone I remember that he is still far away from me. I cannot slide my vision into the next part. A vision that I don't want to see, it all played automatically like a movie. First, I was in the white room, second I was closing my house gate but the color is all grey. In these vision, I feel that I was trying to reach someone, someplace.

A face
It's a face
It's him
My Love
But why he's so far a way from me?

So, I guess this is what a love is.
You try to get who you love, you try to give the best for them. you try to  fight for your love, even you have to face the loneliness alone. I found that I have a misconception. In a love I only think about meeting, dating, sweet things.. but in a love, things not actually like that. Sometimes it's including resistance to hold the loneliness too.  Yes, this is all because I'm lonely... I think my mind tricking me.

Left in a white room
I tried to sit back after having one two steps to reach door
But I see that I've lost my seat
Someone has taking it.
I turn my head around but finding no one.
I feel more lonely and terified.

Colours

I always see colours in my eyes...
I think they're beautiful
Even that sometimes I cannot believe in my own eyes
But they're true
Whenever I close my eyes and re-opened it
It's still the same
Colours are beautiful....

I feel these within these days. Whenever I see things, people, traffics, crowds, buildings, whenever I cross roads, and see up my head, the sky that blue... with white clouds, the almighty sun that brights... I feel that they are so wonderful.  They are beautiful.

Looking at those colours
My eyes could not resist the temptation
To absorb the essence of colour
The pixel that pictured
Wonderful.. wonderful..
That colours make people's heart happy
So sweet ... 
Can I thought that it was the same as 
When you listen to debussy
Walk cross the path bare foot
Tip toed on the watery road
Or this is only me who thought these way
Because the way I am too romantic?

I wonder what would happened if someday I loose it. Would I accept that? Slower motion, your eyes changed... The colours become grey... Untill you find that everything is dark.. And you cannot see a thing...

Pic from here

How about that?

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4